Friday, July 31, 2009

A woman's dream to be a mother

Well here goes another lengthy
process to fulfill my dream and be a mother and to watch my husband be the Father he so desperately wants to be, Adoption. I set up a meeting with the lady from foster care but she did a no-show(just my luck, all odds against me) we rescheduled and she gave me the number of a woman that is in charge of licensing..but, she has been pretty hard to get a hold of. Why is it so easy for some people and so hard for others, why is it the people who want and deserve children can't? WHY?!! It's something I'll never understand. I was born with a congenital birth defect called Unicornuate Uterus, it's where the mullarian ducts nev er fused or one completely dissolved and left me with half my reproductive organs. It feels shameful and humiliating, I know I shouldn't feel that way..I know that, but..I do and it's not something I can help, I also feel like I've burdened my marraige with this, I can't give my husband the family we want and while he says he's not disapointed in me..I am.
If the lord is g
ood and all goes well we can have a little baby or toddler to adopt. We will foster babies from newborn to 3 yrs of age and if they don't get placed back with the family we will be able to adopt. I can't even begin to imagine what It would feel like to hold a baby and know that he/she is MY baby and I'm their Mom and Scott is their Dad. I want this so bad I can taste it. It hurts, all I want is for us to be complete.


  1. Shayna...I want to tell you that adoption is the most wonderful thing you can do...for yourself, and for a deserving little one. I work for an attorney and we do tons of adoptions, and there are PLENTY of good agencies out there. If you don't find the right fit, keep trying. You want to be comfortable.
    As far as your feelings about not being able to have children, I understand, but it's nothing to feel ashamed about. You know that God made us all with our paths drawn...think of it this way: maybe adopting/fostering is the path you were meant for.
    Jonni (FebruaryViolet), Mary Janes Farm

  2. Jonnie, thank you so much for the kind words. they made me smile :)

  3. Shayna,I love your blog. Love your big brown chickens too.
    I know God has a plan for you and your husband and it is a great plan. I do Parents As Teachers and I have one single mom that takes in foster children and most are from women in prison that had babies while in there or just before they went in. Take your time, pray on it. I will put you on my prayer list, God answers prayer and sometimes it is not what we want at the time but years later we know that everything works out for the best.